That Someone, this Holiday Season

let me share to you my Holiday memories...

1. Christmas Dinner 2. Christmas carol

3. @Pierre One, Macapagal 4. exhange gift at RM205 5. @ Gerry's Grill, MOA

This is the season to be jolly and generous; the season to celebrate life for you can absorb the sugar deeply. As for me, it’s really nice and fulfilling, I couldn’t thing of any other adjective that could describe how my season was and would still be. After the tremendous extra curricular and school works, I had a break, I needed a break and I believe I deserve a break. And so, I embrace this season with much love, this is the season to be in a state of ecstasy. I’m really absorbed by the happiness and love this time could give and I wonder if everyone feels the same. Yes, I left some of myself to care for others.

When Jesus’ birth was past approaching, I experienced the heavy traffic every night; everyone is doing their Christmas shopping everyday. If someone has the opportunity to disburse all his disposable income, 13’th month pay and bonus, then someone has to work hard and stay all night just to earn something that could just fill their empty tables.

I also observed that left and right, parties occurred like mushrooms, making the night loud and fun. If someone has the privilege to enjoy the late night parties, then someone has to clean up what they left behind; someone has to wipe tables, wash dishes, and endure the late night working hours just to earn extra cash.

As a family, I believe that we should all be together in this season. If someone has to celebrate the season with his family and friends, then someone has to celebrate it alone; someone has to endure the darkness, coldness and loneliness in a place that are oceans apart from their families. Someone has to be locked in a cubicle to take calls, and someone has to heal and show a little care to let other people feel the sense of comfort.

Christmas is about giving, and if someone has to give gifts, someone has to knock at ones door to be given what others can just give.

Unfortunately, not everyone is fortunate enough this season, if someone is so certain and secured, then someone is in limbo; not knowing what to do, where to go and when to live, so unsure of what his life can be.

For all, let us be thankful that we are still in the state of SOMEONE that is in a favorable situation, there are still a lot of SOMEONE that suffers; that search for light and happiness. Because we can’t do anything or we can only do little things for them, let us all be appreciative and sensitive of their existence. Above all, make Jesus’ birth, the thought, essence, focal point and center of this season. After all, if not for him, we wouldn’t have this at all.

keep the Faith, Hope, and Love
jan

The Coffee of December

What do you notice about this season? Is it the coldness of the weather? The fast approaching darkness and less daylight? Or the sparkling and brilliant streets during night? Perhaps the heavy traffic and busy people roaming around?

As for me, the only thing that stopped my spotless mind was the coffee; the coffee that was simply placed on the table, the coffee that was made with less complexity and the coffee that patiently waits for me every mornings of my life. As I sipped it from the ceramic cup, I can feel the perfect chemistry of the cold dawn and hot liquid flowing inside my being. All year round, the same feeling hits me every time I take a sip of my awakening cup. However, I noticed how different it was to drink Coffee on December. It is entirely unusual from drinking coffee during summer or even the typhoon season of August. There is something inside of me that makes me feel the essence of coffee on December. I then realized that often, people took for granted the cup of coffee that was patiently waiting for them to be touched, felt and loved. There are a lot of things that are not given importance because of its unpleasant properties or maybe because it’s almost everyday that those things are made visible in our lives. That’s exactly my point; things in our everyday life are taken for granted for we know that we’ll have it again by tomorrow. But do we realize that today might be the last day of the things we consider permanent? We should cherish everyday because each day can not be replaced or repeated.


This season, start giving importance to things you consider unimportant; this is the perfect time to acknowledge the presence of those things. Let us all be awakened by the hot coffee on our table, let us experience the soothing effect it gives us and let us feel the difference of drinking coffee on December. This is the only time when the contrasting properties of hot coffee and cold dawn jive together to create a perfect combination.

As I embrace the dawn and welcome mornings, I’m glad that I have a cup of coffee in my hand, a coffee that starts my day right, a coffee that gives me new hope and wisdom and a coffee that is best sipped on December.


cold in december
jan

Human Capacity

From discovery, execution, development and innovation, what else can human do? I’m contented of the fact that the first generation of human was able to make discoveries that uplifts human life then. It was amazing that their innate and God-given capabilities are put into good use. Moreover, I was stunned with the way they continuously develop what was considered the best. Truly, human capacity is unceasing and inevitable. I am a witness of how mankind morphed into what they are today; from simply loving, understanding, respecting, up to intellectual abilities manifested by great technological breakthrough and scientific inventions, I can’t wait to see what these geniuses are still capable of doing. I believe that there are limits to human understanding but I’m starting to doubt if there are still limits to human capacity, given the fact that even human cloning is far from impossible. With all the advantages and benefits these things have contributed to the 21st century saga, there’s no way that these technological evolution would stay stagnant. Technology is embraced and loved by human to a state I can’t even imagine. It makes life easy, complicated, fun, and it makes the world small, therefore bridging the gap between all nations. How impressed I am with what it can offer. I’m a beneficiary of these discoveries and I can’t even imagine my life now without it. I’m an individual mesmerized by the world’s greatest inventions; guilty of the pleasure brought by the excessive indulgence of the hypnotizing reality it offers. Surely, I’m one of those who can’t resist simply because I choose to get victimized. However, these things have a down side; from simple lying, theft, damage of social relationships to deterioration of values that result to serious crimes that lowers human dignity. It’s a saddening reality that with the emergence of these things, social problems exist giving a direct impact on values and morals. Being a vital component of our formation as human, values and morals served as our foundation in building ourselves for us, for others and for God. I don’t know what happened to human’s capacity, I realized that some how, growth is not always good, expansion is not always for the better and development is not merely for improvement. We might not know that behind the human capacity to progress, there is also a side that deteriorates. We should always be open to think twice; always see the other side. It’s okay to get victimized, but never victimize.


mesmerized
jan

One Tree Hill Bids Goodbye

Just this morning, i saw the farewell episode of one tree hill season 3. It makes me sad because one of the most entertaining youth series has to end. I saw how they celebrated their last high school party, i really got goosebumps when the handling down of seniors happened. It's so cute to see them counting until 12 midnight to wait for the moment when juniors get to be seniors and seniors move out of High School life. The moment of Brooke and Lucas was adorable, i still think they look good together. =). It's so good to see them reunite their friendship and swear that they'll be friends forever. The last basketball match of Nathan and Lucas ended the series. One tree hill is such a great mirror of high school life; its a reasonable drama that touches all our hearts (well, as for me). I hope they'll come up with season 4 wherein the guys are already in College (ala Veronica Mars).


until the next season
jan

Right & Responsibility

Right and Responsibility, two words that compensate each other. I believe that before someone else can demand for his rights, he must fulfill his responsibilities first. Otherwise, dual benefit won’t exist.

The most common scenario that comes on my mind when I thought about right and responsibility is the unceasing street protest and rallies of different organizations against our government. People exert so much effort to gather on the street, raise their banners and shout their advocacy. However, authorities push them away because obviously, they cause disturbance, traffic, cancellation of classes and worse, accident and violence. In short, they interfere with the normal daily city life. I’m not against protest and rally; I just think that it should be reasonable for it to be considered sensible. There should be a deeper justification of what they’re fighting for.

Going back to the bill of rights of our 1987 constitution, the fundamental basic rights that a person has are his right to life, right to liberty, and right to property with further guarantee of equal protection of laws. In the Philippines, I have observed from the news headlines that often, the fundamental rights of a person are not given at all. Is this the reason why the Filipino’s search for their right is unceasing? Or is it because there are other forbidden rights underlying and connected to the fundamental rights? The usual reason of street protest are claiming for just compensation, employment, free and justifiable education, housing, feeding and health programs and decrease in prices of goods and services. In short, people want to experience good governance and a good leader who can implement it.

Personally, I admire those people who assert for their rights because they stand firm to what they believe in and they have the courage to publicize their advocacy. But not all protests and rallies are successful, there are times that it becomes nonsense and unreasonable; it has no direction at all; it turns to be a waste of time, money and effort. I would see people shouting angrily on the streets. Often, it results to violence. I would then think if it is really worth their effort. I personally want to ask them if they had done their part, if they had fulfilled their responsibilities. Because surely, having someone to blame won’t solve your problem especially if the root cause is you.

Like in our country, I believe that before we demand the government for good governance, let us all diligently pay our taxes first, follow simple road signs, apply proper waste disposal, protect the environment, avoid gambling and other destructive vices and follow proper procedures in securing for public documents. Those are just simple things that we constantly need to follow as citizens of this country. If the government has responsibilities to us, we also have responsibilities to our government. When we had done our part, that’s the time when we have all the right to demand for our rights apart from the fundamental rights that should be freely given to us.

Right and responsibility goes together, it’s like a weighing scale on the state of equilibrium. Not one should be heavier because the other part has the tendency to be pulled down. Equal weight should be put on both sides to achieve balance.


Searching for ones right comes with doing ones responsibility.
jan

Mornings I hear them Humming...

I hear them humming this Morning at las
Flying high, on the greenwoods they passed
Embracing the breeze and wind so fast
Carrying the smell of the green grass
So pleasant the sound like music
In my eyes such a view so scenic
If mornings are spent to hear them humming
Then see the world forever blooming
But mornings started to darken
The absence of humming is so sudden
Threatened by the lost of the Greenwoods they passed
They no longer carry the smell of the green grass
Would someone come and bring them back
To let me see a wonderful flock
Someone who has an innate value of loving
So on mornings I’ll hear them humming.


Chirpy as the birds
jan

The Water You Drink

The water you drink is brown in shade, impure in spirit and tastes bitter. You opened the faucet and see no drop; it would take a thousand years to feel the splash. Do you want this vision to come into reality? I hope not, because this is simply being receptive of the Society’s bad practice in terms of water use.

We all know that 75% of the world’s archipelago is composed of water and water is essential in our everyday life, it is used in 75% of our daily activities. But until when will water be dominant in the world’s archipelago? Until when can we use water lavishly without giving importance to its tiny little drops?

Water is really important in us because we use it in drinking, cooking, bathing, cleaning and almost everything. And therefore as humans, we are liable in keeping the water clean and flowing. It’s time for us to realize that water is created by God, we can modify and improve it but we can’t replace it, more so create it. Let us all be responsible users of water by using it practically and protecting it to maintain its purity. If we don’t act now, sooner or later, we will all drink impure water that maybe a threat not only to our health but to our Environment as well. But if we initiate responsible use, protection and preservation of water today, then we can have a clear vision of water in the future.

From now on, give importance to the water flowing from your faucets.
jan

Dream Green Reality

Preservation of natural resources to save our Environment from massive destruction is an unceasing call. This message is posted everywhere; the media takes active role in reminding the people of it and various non-profit organizations and foundations are especially formed for that purpose. We all know that we have an abundant supply of natural resources and we are aware that some of it can be replaced if we exert much effort. We benefit a lot from the Environment; it aides us in living conveniently, it gives us shelter and provides us food. Our Environment had given us a lot and it still has a lot to give only if it benefits from us too. I think it’s just but proper to give our Environment what it needs in order to compensate what it had given. And now, I believe that it’s our turn to give back the love it shed on earth. Let us stop the continuous exploitation of natural resources, even if it’s used in the advancement of technology, still, a mountain of non-biodegradable gadgets won’t compensate a mountain of trees, flowers and fruits with animals living in it. Let us all learn to protect and save the earth. Because it wont be around forever unless we act now, even if we have plenty of supplies. It’s still beneficial to preserve, nurture and multiply it for future us.

This article maybe similar to any other articles and this may be so redundant for you, but did you ever act on it?


Start now before it’s too late.
jan

The Abstract of Myself

Whenever I’m asked to describe myself, “The universe is too small to be my world” is the best phrase I can utter. It doesn’t mean that I’m not contented with the world I have now, it’s just that, I’m the type of person who unceasing search for new world; to learn something new, to travel an adventure filled journey and to experience things that are often left undiscovered. My description of myself is quite vague for I believe that my reflection on a mirror can not give me the best judgment. Honestly, I tend to see myself base on what I believe, what I want and what I choose to see. But don’t get me wrong, I don’t describe myself in accordance to what I want, I just often fail to see my frailty and darkness. This is the reason why I consider other people’s opinion about me to be very important. I value what they have to say for I believe that they are my best critics. I may be confused to specifically describe myself, but I certainly know what I want.


I consider my weakness as my key to triumph; I could say that I’m a strong person beyond a frail frame. I welcome challenges open-heartedly and face it with brave heart.



Often, people see me as someone who is silent, serious and deep. These components of my being are just a fraction of my personality. My facade can not determine my substance. A person should know me, talk and listen to me before they can actually tell who I am.



I am also a spontaneous person who just let things be; I don’t hold on them too tightly or freely. I believe that things have their own nature and they follow the natural way of life. I am a lover of life for I believe what life means; I savor every moment of my existence. I consider every second as something unique because it can never be replaced or returned. More importantly, the mistakes we had done can never be corrected, it will just serve as a learning we have to carry on in order to avoid another blunder in life. Because of this thought, I learned to give my best in everything I do, even if I fail, I know I tried hard. I also learned to think before doing anything in order to save myself from regression.



As human, I live by having the three values I consider to be very essential in one’s life. First is acceptance, I’m a passive person who doesn’t like to argue that much, but certainly, I know when to stand whenever someone pulls me down. Second is understanding, before I accept things or situations, I believe I must learn to understand first in order to justify my acceptance. And last is love, I believe and in fact, it is a fundamental aspect of humans, love can make infinite possibilities because everything starts from it.



Whenever I’m asked to describe myself, I just give vague answers, I want people to discover themselves what they want to know about me. Surely, their assessment of me is true for their judgment is unbiased. What I may say, may not be true to them and what they may say is something I fail to see.


jan

I can never be a Scientist

Yes it’s true
I dreamt of becoming one
Not to create new truth,
That everyone will believe
Not to reveal new discoveries,
That everyone will cherish
Not to provide answers to questions,
That has long been raised
The trees grow,
Yet, deviate from its original structure
Water runs dry,
When sunshine cease its existence
Moon at its best,
At dark nights so astounding
All of it
Explained by science
I want to be a scientist,
To know the reason
The reason why the wind, when it blows, it carries with it the leaves and lead it to nowhere; a world it had never known
The reason why a palm can invade a body, capture and crush a silently dreaming heart
The reason why tears exist, when in fact, stone is so much stronger than liquid
The reason why dusts spread so fast and reach worlds apart
The reason why moon can not be touched, even by vision
The reason why the ocean’s best is at its very deep, leaving us breathless before we reach
The reason why a cloth, if torn, won’t be the same, even if sewed by the most magnificent healer
The reason why the world should only be one; it’s often the world of reality
The reason why we can’t be in a world that only us have ever known
The reason why pain is always hiding inside, no matter how hard we try to let it out
Nobody warned me, that being a scientist is a tough job
All these reasons
I guess is a signal that I have to stop dreaming
I can never be a SCIENTIST

poor & passionate
jan

The world outside her window

She sat near the window, looked at the sky
Nothing has changed; everything is still the same
Same stars that she could see, whispering something on her lips
Stagnant moonlight flashing a weary smile,
Slowly crying blood and tearing a part.
Same darkness; a gloomy night
Three hundred and sixty five days of no sunshine
Floating colored lights, sprinkled by Tinkerbelle
An atmosphere of smoke, followed after
No trace of polar express, a childish dream waiting forever
No shooting stars to carry her, in a hole of wishful hopeless
She saw fireflies, dancing with the colorful dust in the sky
All of it inhaled the welcome of another gift
Her ears were touched; invaded by the waves the transmit her feelings
The waves the carries her words to the sea
The waves that brings the world to her eyes
An eyes that will be closed forever, to see what is she wanting
The luminosity of the sky blinds her to darkness
She grabbed the lights and dancing fireflies
But she was wounded
Too stupid to think she could actually hold those with her bare hands
The external wounded part flowed within her veins
The blood invaded her system as well as her spotless brain
She stopped
Stopped the breathing of her eyes
Stopped the singing of her brain
Stopped the crying of her hand
And stopped the dancing of her heart
Blood flowed from the holes; glittering on its own.
She grabbed the blood and blew it to reach the sea, the wind, and then the stars
But the waves blocked it
She sat with her heart flowing; beating as fast as an earth’s revolution
She looked at the stars
She couldn’t see it as she opened her eyes…
Is there any way she could touched the fire?
Can she dance with the fireflies?
Only Tinkerbelle could answer…
She sat near the window, looked at the sky…
Still the same sight
Still the same feeling
Still the same being
Still the same stars, lights, moon and fireflies.

jan

You can not sing forever

Your golden voice
As you scream with your veins
Your powerful words
With your brain so insane
Your tantalizing eyes
In a mesmerizing state
Your lips so red as wine
Captivating in every words you say
The way you mix the melody
Is a way so indulging
The moment the rhythm flows
Is a moment of pouring rain
A second of stringing guitars
Is a second with your voice so amazing
But when your golden voice tone down
When your words seeks to run dry
When your eyes lost its spark and light
When your lips reach death and darkness
When the melody can no longer sustain your breath
When the rhythm heats the coldness
And when the stringing guitar starts to loosen
I’ll be here
Willing to listen in silence
Willing to hear the silence
The silence that completes the melody
The silence that puts life to rhythm
And the silence that patch up the broken strings
I’ll listen
Listen to the silence
Listen to the silence that your heart feels
Listen to the silence that your heart beats
Listen to the silence that your heart screams
I’ll listen
Listen to the silence of your heart

jan

Sa Dalampasigan

Sa pagsalubong sa liwanag
Sa silaw ako’y nabubulag
Sa hampas ng hangin
Tila aking sarili’y nabaling
Sa tunog ng alon
Nakahanap ng pagasa sa muling paglaon
Sa layo ng aking tingin
Tila pangarap ay kakamtin
Ngunit saan pupulutin
Kung kasing taas ng bituin
Inaasam ko’y di mararating
Sa dami ng nilalang na umaasa
Sa dalampasigan kaya’y may mapapala
May lugar kaya sa aking mga pangarap
Pangarap na sa isip ko lang nagagawa
Sa sandaling paghigop sa akin ng hangin
Ang maliit kong mundo ay tumigil
Sa segundong paglisan sa aking sarili
Nahanap ko ang papawi sa dilim
Liwanag ay aking nakamit
Pag ikot ng mundo’y tila langit
Tunog ng ibon na sumasagip
Sa aking pag bitaw sa hanging sumisilip
Sa pagpikit ng aking mata
Lumisan ang lungkot at kaba
Walang katapusang pag asa at saya
Sumalubong sa aking paglaya
Ngunit sa paghahanap ko sa sariling liwanag
Agad akong pinagkaitan
Ang lubusan kong saya ay napawi
Nalugmok sa dilim at sawi
Sa aking pagtakbo patungong liwanag
Habang papalapit ito’y naglalaho
Unti-unting dumidilim
Nagtatago at nawawala
San pa pupulutin
Liwanag na gustong kamtin
San pa hahanapin
Liwanag na inagos na ng hangin
San pa aabutin
Liwanag na sing taas ng bituin
Sa aking pagtatanong
Bigla akong napabitaw
Sa pagkalas sa yakap ng hangin
Pag asa at pangarap ko’y nabaling
Tuluyang paghulog na walang pinagmulan
Pagsalubong sa nalalapit na paglisan
Sa pagbagsak ko sa katapusan
Namulat ako sa dilim ng liwanag
Nabulag ako sa sikat ng araw
Sa sikat at liwanag na bubuo sa aking pangarap
Pangrap na akala ko’y naglaho
Inagos at inilayo
Pangarap na di ko inaasahang mabubuo
Sapagkat tuluyang naibaon sa limot
Ngayon ay alam ko na
Kung paano mararating
Kung saan hahanapin
At saan maaaring pulutin
Sa lugar kung saan nilamon ako ng tanawin
Kung saan tumigil at nabaling
Mundo kong puno ng dilim
Sa Dalampasigan
Sa Dalampasigan lang pala

jan

STARS

Alone in the galaxy
Searching for destiny
A star that twinkles in the night
For everyone, it’s just out of sight
Amazing shimmer and stardust
For the world it’s gone so fast
Searching, hoping, wishing
Still something’s missing
As the light is shed
Still the feeling is dead
Ended up bursting
Still it’s hurting
Searching for my own galaxy
Someone has already owned destiny
If stars are picked by hand
The star is crumpled into sand
Still alone free falling
No one was sweet sailing
Touch the star in the darkness
Discover the feeling of sadness
Pain, hatred, devastation
Unneeded sensation
Still alone in the galaxy
Gone its destiny
Shooting star
Passing, yet so far
If a star could wish
Nothing it could miss
Till the end in all loneliness
And death being nearest
Burned and fired
Slash and cried
Still alone in the galaxy
Hoping and wishing in fantasy

jan